It’s the middle of the night in Bulgaria

We are supposed to be in Bulgaria at this very moment 8 hours away from meeting D. In just a few hours we would be making our way up the road to the medical home/baby house/orphanage. We would go into the playroom and wait for workers to bring him to us. We have thought about this moment 1,000 times, what would we say, what would we do, what would his reaction be to us (complete strangers), what would happen in the moments that followed. We would be pulling out toys, trying to speak words that are familiar to him in Bulgarian, asking questions to the staff… we would be getting to know him… it would have been our first everything.

But we are not in Bulgaria. We are here in our house. Self quarantined. And completely heartbroken.

I wish more than anything right now people would listen. Honestly, I'm so frustrated that people are still flying and gathering (this includes playdates, people). Last weekend or even the middle of last week, I would have thought nothing of it but to wipe everything down and wash your hands. But THIS weekend, after school is being closed, shops are closing and literally everyone is telling people to stay home. Yet people are still socializing as if it just doesn't apply to them. I just cannot.

We have zero idea when our adoption will resume. Our agency also works with China and China adoptions have been paused since January with no idea when they will resume- they won’t start back up at least until May when the airlines start up again if things go according to plan. So we can expect at the very least this is a 5-month delay until he is home. Let’s say we finally get to travel in June (which is my earliest guess), D will not come home until October. He could have been home in JUNE, which we were hoping because his third birthday is at the end of June and that has always been our goal. It is impossible that it will happen now. Right now I am hoping by the end of the year and that is REALLY far away. So please stay home, please, please, please.